SDannaS

I had a light-bulb moment when I was on vacation and I have something to say to all the 'nice guys.'

Whenever I manage to get some quiet time, usually in nature, I get inspired to write. Sometimes, I do and most times I forget, but some things just stick with me.

On a hike with a good friend, we were talking about relationships and the dynamic of being the 'nice guy.' I saw how much that had hurt him in the past and started to reflect that I had been THAT girl before.  It led to a meaningful conversation of understanding why girls do that and more importantly, why I did it.  Most of all, I felt like saying I was sorry to him (not me personally but as a representation of the female species) and some how that would help heal a much deeper wound many of my 'nice guy' friends have had.

In writing it all down as I see it, here is what I came up with:

I never meant to be ‘that girl.’ You know, the one who complained that all she wanted was a really nice guy and when one (or two or three) came along, she turned them down, broke their hearts and always chased after the guys who treated her like crap? Yeah, that ONE.

After much heartbreak and being tired from years of attracting all the wrong people, I want to make amends, if possible. I want to apologize to you, the nice guy. Hurting you was never intentional. It was merely a reflection of my own self-loathing. Something I wasn’t fully conscious or aware of at the time.

 

In the array of confusion that is young love, dating, and negotiating what we want out of relationships and romance, my antennae got bent. And by bent, I mean, turned completely around, twisted and pointed in the total opposite direction I desired my life to go in.

 

It may be cathartic for you to hear of the years of pain, bad relationships, abuse and deep down hurt I experienced as a result of rejecting you. Let me assure you, you were always in the back of my mind. Through every tear, through every dark night of the soul, you were there, haunting me with your nice-guyness.

 

I realize this apology may not ever make the pain of the rejection go away. Some of you may have moved on. Some of you may have become bitter, and understandably so. You may have even forgotten about it completely. I hope you have. For those that haven’t, I apologize on behalf of all the girls like me and hope these words, years later, help in some way.

 

In addition, I want to thank you. Thank you for being unforgettable. Thank you, for loving me, while I was certainly unlovable. For that, I am forever grateful. You have given me a higher standard to shoot for this time. And this time, I won’t make the same mistake.

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