The 10 Worst Christmas Songs in the Quad Cities
Christmas songs are meant to bring us joy, make us feel festive and celebrate the holidays.
For the most part, Christmas music does that except for a few really sad holiday tunes about soldiers not coming home from the war and a kid who's getting shoes for a dying mother to wear.
My list isn't scientific. I didn't take a poll or do any research. It's just my opinion which of course is subjective. Here are a few holiday tunes that make me want to scratch my ears off any time I hear them come on the radio or appear on my computer generated playlist and why I think they're the worst.
10. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
Even though this song was written by a man from Iowa, (John Rox) it's not good. It made the Billboard #24 charts back in 1953 and sung by an adorable 10-year-old Gayla Peevey. The song is cute, but the recording sounds more like an adult breathing helium. It's almost creepy. I loved this song when my 6-year old sand it in her first grade holiday program, but it's the worst now.
9. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
When this song came out in the late 70s early 80s it was marginally funny. Then it was played by every radio station and in every bar 400,000,000 times. I can't run away fast enough from this one. Even the atonal intro bugs me.
8. The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)
Another huge hit back in 1958. It's a song I'm sure I sang in my elementary school program. It's a cute song for 7-year olds to sing, but the cartoon character version with high pitched 'chipmunks' singing along with 'Dave' yelling at the chipmunks doesn't say "happy holidays" to me.
7. Santa Baby-Madonna's version
Ok, the song is trite, dated and pouty, but Eartha Kitt is a goddess. Madonna is a wonderful talent, but the way she interprets this song in her baby talk style is well, just....gross. Ick.
6. Please, Daddy (Don't Get Drunk on Christmas)
Ok, really? I mean even if that's what we're all thinking....it's just sad and really inappropriate. John Denver....what was he thinking and you too, Alan Jackson. Come on.
5. Holly Jolly Christmas
I'm going to get some heat for this one. Who didn't love watching the claymation snowman, Burl Ives swish through the snow and sing this song? I loved it as a kid. The Christmas TV specials were what we LIVED for as kids. But also, back in the 70s and early 80s there were VARIETY shows too. So not only did we hear this song on the animated holiday TV specials, we heard it on the radio and on EVERY variety show Burl Ives could get booked on.
4. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)
It's almost sacrilegious to put a John Lennon song on my worst list, but here it is. First, it's creepy to hear John and Yoko whisper to each other. Second, Yoko's shreiks or rather her 'singing' is enough to put you off your dinner. Then the lyrics, “So this is Christmas, what have you done?” "Another year older..." um, ok, is this supposed to make us feel better? Then suggesting it would be good to have a a Christmas 'without any fear'.....well, thanks for that. I didn't think I had any until I hear this song.
3. Christmas Wrapping
Oh come on Spice Girls. This song didn't work for the Waitresses, it doesn't work period.
2. We WIsh You a Merry Christmas
We HAD to sing this song in school and I remember singing it violently. Stressing the WISH like it was a hard hitting HISSSSS. It's repetitive, boring and no one really knows any of the lyrics except the 'figgy pudding' part and what the hell IS figgy pudding anyway?
1. Christmas Shoes
Here it is. I alluded to it at the beginning of my story and this one takes the cake. I get that it's the gift of the magi kind of story, but this is just tragic. A little boy wants his mom to be wearing a new pair of shoes' in case she meets Jesus tonight?' Holy cow this is dark. Remember the part about feeling festive? And also, a kid is out shopping while his mom is at death's door? Burn this song and make it go away forever.
I hope you like my non scientific top 10 worst holiday songs. Stay tuned, next up is my top 10 BEST Christmas songs.
Listen to Tami on KIIK 104.9 every Monday-Saturday from 10 am to 3 pm on the Quad Cities Greatest Hits station.
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